Sunday, March 6, 2016

Does Death Need to be a Bad Experience?

Some cultures celebrate death and believe a person has moved on to a better place. Our Western culture typically views death as a negative event and a loss. How can the same species have such different feelings and beliefs for an event that will happen to all of us?

Many years ago I read in the book by Richard Carlson, "You can be Happy no Matter What", a totally new concept for my Canadian-German brain. He suggested we be happy that we had the chance to know this person and to have had them in our lives rather than grieve their loss when they die. After all, they wouldn't want us grieving endlessly. I decided to take on this belief. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to work for everyone. Feelings of guilt and sadness often overwhelm the bereaved.

Most deaths produce a feeling of shock and disbelief in their family and friends. Even people whom we don't know personally, such as celebrities, can send people into a deep depression.  Even years after the death of a loved one feelings of loss and sadness can persist. The following are normal responses to death:
  • grief
  • loneliness
  • anger
  • disappointment
  • abandonment
  • shock
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • guilt
  • numbness
  • hopelessness
And then there are the events that may happen due to the death that can cause severe stress. How can you talk to the children about it when feel like you're dying inside? Did the loved one leave behind a financial diaster? Do you need to move? Do you need to dispose of the deceased items? Do you need to make decisions you're not used to making? Do you need to deal with relatives wanting a piece of the inheritance?

What if there was a way to take the edge off the emotions that can make taking action seem impossible? What if you could get through the day without breaking down and crying? What if you could do this without feeling guilt? Now there is a way.

Going through a guided process to integrate the death experience can offer immediate relief allowing a person to cope with daily life without falling to bits. See the following experiences:

Shortly after the death of her son:

"It has been amazing to me that in such a short time you were able to resolve the sharp edges of grief that had been slicing through me without notice.  I feel much more stable emotionally and am able to tell the story of what happened without breaking down into tears.  I've been able to take care of myself, my clients, and my daily responsibilities--if not with my usual energy--at least adequately.

I realize there's still much grief work to do.  It feels like my heart is expanding into the lessons grief has for me, and I am becoming a more compassionate and loving being in the process.

Many blessings to you.

Much love and gratitude",
Daria Howell

PS: I should have added that before our session I was experiencing a bout of depression and that it lifted immediately.  It hasn't returned, thankfully!
This experience is from my trainer's (Satyen Raja) client, and a big motivation in inspiring me to help others with this important work:

"On February 4th 2013 my son shot himself in the head in my home, in my chair. This occurred the day after I returned from a training where I internally addressed ongoing issues with my son and determined to create a firm boundary around his behavior in my home. When faced with a drunken man, who had driven my car home from the bar I stood in my power and told him he would have to leave in the morning when he sobered up; five minutes later he was dead. This was the trauma I shared with Satyen Raja in a telephone call three weeks later, the day before I was scheduled to leave on a lecture tour to China.  

I was an emotional wreck but the thought of escaping my home was something of a relief.  However, the thought of actually having to function on the tour was beyond my mental or emotional capacity.  This was when Satyen offered to do a Skype session with me and explained he would be running a "procedure" for me.  Without understanding exactly what was entailed, I put my trust in him and sat down in front of my computer in a daze, five hours before I left for the airport.  

Satyen ran what he called the "Trauma Release process," in less than one hour he took me through the awful events of that night and the agony disappeared but even more amazingly helped me connect on both a physical and spiritual level with my son which helped me resolve some of the agony and despair of the trauma. There was more work to do of course, grief of this sort cannot be resolved in an hour. But, the very fact that I felt stable emotionally, I actually felt like a protective wall had been formed around my heart and I could walk the walk and talk the talk for two weeks knowing that when I got home from China I was going to continue this work with Satyen soon after. 

For someone dealing with any trauma, I can only speak my truth from my own experience, it works and it works fast and it sticks, it is not a passing fad. The trauma is addressed head on and resolved as you go. As I continue to work on residual pain in my heart I am going to teach my grief counselor at home this process so that she can run it for me occasionally to check on my recovery. I know she will find it intriguing and I hope she will also find it a very useful tool in her arsenal when dealing with such pain.

I have been an AASECT certified sexuality counselor for fifteen years, I have a private practice and  have also been an RN for forty two years, always working actively in the field. I am a Ph.D in Human Sexuality and have spent most of my life learning and growing, spending tens of thousands of dollars on a life time of learning. It astonished me and actually made me laugh out loud when I realized how much I would have saved had I studied these concepts twenty years ago. This is the message I now tell my clients as I use these techniques in my practice: the work we will do today is just about to save you hundreds if not thousands of dollars but even more importantly than that, you will actually resolve your problems in hours rather than months or years (if ever) and live the lives you were meant to light and joy not heart ache and misery. Thank you Satyen for all your work and for your strength and support."

Dr. Fran Fisher RN. Ph.D

My services:

As seen by the above experiences, I can help you to remove death trauma and the emotional charges associated around the death of a loved one.
If you have a fear of death that can also be removed with a process specifically designed to remove fear and leave you peaceful. No matter what the emotion, a higher state can be achieved, normally within one session. Often there are different aspects that need addressing and a series of sessions are recommended so you are not just trauma-free but can also feel motivated to move on with your life when you're ready. Your first session is by donation. No strings attached.

Wishing You Peace and Much Love,

Sharie Fox

 photo courtesy of David Somers